Tag: emotional abuse

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Introduction:

Abuse in all its forms is an important topic to focus on  because many children of God globally are either dying or suffering negative consequences for their health and well-being as a result of violence and abuse. Christian’s need to speak out  because we are God’s hands and feet in this world and we represent His love and healing power.  The bible says  “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble” (I Peter 3:8, NIV).  Violence impacts everyone women, children and men.

Types of abuse:

1. Physical Abuse;  Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking; throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.; Pulling your hair
2. Emotional or Verbal Abuse; Calling you names and putting you down;  Yelling and screaming at you;  Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.; and  Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
3. Sexual Abuse:  Unwanted kissing or touching;  Rape or attempted rape. ; Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
4. Financial Abuse:  Using their money to hold power over you because they know you are not in the same financial situation as they are;  Spending money on themselves but not allowing you to do the same;  Giving you presents and/or paying for things like dinner and expecting you to somehow return the favor.
5. Digital Abuse: Tells you who you can or can’t be friends with social media and sites;  Sends you negative, insulting or even threatening emails, Facebook messages, tweets, DMs or other messages online;  Uses sites like Facebook, Twitter, foursquare and others to keep constant tabs on you;  Constantly texts you and makes you feel like you can’t be separated from your phone for fear that you will be punished; Looks through your phone frequently, checks up on your pictures, texts and outgoing calls.
6. Stalking:  Show up at your home or place of work unannounced or uninvited ;  Send you unwanted text messages, letters, emails and voicemails; Use social networking sites and technology to track you.;  Make unwanted phone calls to you.

How to respond if you are being abused?

Here are nine ways counselors suggest a survivor of emotional abuse to respond:

1. Study the tactics and learn to be assertive. Know who you are dealing with. Manipulators know your triggers.
2. Set healthy boundaries.  Even Christ felt the need to set boundaries in His life. We should do  the same. We have our own individuality given to us by God, and with it  the right to manage things that are on our “side of the fence”. 
3. Build your self-worth and self-respect.  Abuse can slowly chip away at self-esteem. Usually, both the abuser and  the victim in a relationship have experienced shaming in childhood and  already have impaired self-esteem. Remember, it is not your fault. The  Bible contains many wonderful reminders of how precious you are.
4. Get a restraining order: especially in cases where there is physical abuse;
5. Report what has happened to the police: this can be done where the abuse is physical or sexual. This can be used as evidence should you decide take legal action;
6. Go to hospital:    It is very important for you to seek health care as soon as you can   after being assaulted. You will be treated for any injuries and offered   medications to help prevent pregnancy and/or STIs. 
7. Seek immediate help of a professional counselor.   If you are in immediate danger, call the police or crisis number. If  you are not in immediate danger, reach out to a trusted friend or family  member, therapist, or volunteer with an abuse shelter or domestic  violence hotline. 
8. Get a Safety Plan:  this  is a personalized, practical  plan that can help you avoid  dangerous  situations and know the best  way to react when you’re in  danger. Ideas on how to make a safety plan in the link you will find a guide. 
9. Seek comfort, healing and wisdom from God.  The Holy Spirit is our Comforter and will guide us in all wisdom and  truth. He can warm our heart with God’s love in a healing way. He can  teach us what words to say. Jesus has suffered all forms of abuse,  including psychological and emotional abuse himself. 

Power of words

The Power of God’s Word for you

If you recognize that you are in a dysfunctional abusive relationship, remember to see yourself in the context of Biblical truth. You may not be able to talk to anyone about this yet.  That is ok. Don’t believe what your abuser says about you, but rather, focus on what God says about you: “…I have called you by your name, you are Mine” (Isaiah 43:1, NKJV). Here are some beautiful Biblical truths about you.In any abusive situation, remember it is not your fault.

In any abusive situation, remember it is not your fault.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship Do This Self-Assessment?

Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it’s obvious that they aren’t okay.

1. Do you feel that you can’t discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
2. Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
3. Is it often that your partner ridicules you for expressing yourself?
4. Does your partner try to isolate you from friends, family, or groups?
5. Is your access to work or material resources limited by your partner?
6. Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
7. Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance (clammed up) and being very close?
8. Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
9. Has your partner ever thrown away or destroyed things that belonged to you?
10. Are you afraid of your partner?

General guidelines for dealing with this kind of situation:

Listen to the Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/814151/episodes/5195725